A Blue View (Poem)

So believe it or not, for #Blizzard2016, I was stressed but cozy in a Manhattan lawyers’ conference room, practicing a moot court argument. But in snapping a few pics on break (Instagram: TNW24!), I was so struck (literally and spiritually) by the historically epic levels of snow that I decided to semi-freewrite a little poem:

A blue view, double digits up.

The reflections of our inflections

float over the snow like ghosts, and

it’s haunting,

this icy twilight, when sirens fire down empty avenues,

flakes swirling so the fall and rise look alike

to tired eyes lifting a headache

past glass, under a flickering light

over a lavish table.

Delicate delicacies and canned heat, bottled water—

an anxious banquet by holed-up hosts,

mostly confident we’ll make it out of here safely at dark.

As our floor scrapes the sky, so sleet scrapes the streets

in sheets, defeating any chance of steady wi-fi

or an uneventful stroll to the ATM.

The air occluded, Arctic darkness

blows gridwise in cold lines,

a hazy maze that shakes structures and ruptures Saturday plans.

The windows across are white-swept cells, clotted with frost.

The lights are off, and nobody home—

A law firm’s a bunker when New York is Nome.

IMG_6119

Hope everybody else in the area stayed safe and warm!

BACK IN BLACK AND/OR PINK – Valentine’s Up-Date

Happy Valentine’s Day! In my regrettable absence (full disclosure: no real reason, I just got busy and then Christmas Break happened/was pretty great), the rest of 2014 and the start of 2015 came and went without much in the way of remarkable developments–I made it through another semester at Cornell Law School with a modest cumulative 3.4 GPA and am preparing to advance to a higher editor position on the Cornell Law Review, but progress on my novel, “There’s Something Wrong with the Neighbor’s Cat” (link goes to pretty darn outdated character profiles) has been drip feed-esque at best, and the hunt for some manner of fulfilling legal work over the summer continues. Also, I’m trying to build a PC–parts so far include the processor, monitor, about twenty new Steam games, and this reasonably baller case:

It's on like TRON.

It’s on like TRON.

So since the only thing piling up more than sparkly, Solo cup-studded snow over here in Ithaca, NY is academic obligations, I’ll be brief in circling back around to that first joyful lead-in: It’s February 14th! Short story shorter, I’m still single, but if I wanted to straight bemoan the fact I’d send you a link to my Tumblr. Instead, in a bit of a “less is more” combo, I’ve got a pair of poems produced under varying circumstances. The first is another semiautobiographical magnetic poetry quickie I assembled while in the good ol’ “waiting room” at the UW’s English Department in the recesses of Padelford Hall while back home for the holidays. I don’t really name these ones, but I guess “What Boy” is as good a title as any:

What Boy

The second poem is one I actually wrote about a year ago, not coincidentally close to this time of the month. I didn’t share it initially because, to be honest, it’s pretty dang rough, schmaltzy, and was initially typed as “prose” on a lark describing the subject to a friend in a late-night Facebook message. I gave it and the reasons behind it some time to cool off, though, and figured today that it couldn’t hurt to toss it up again in light of the season, if only as something of an emotional time capsule–in any case, it’s vague enough that I’d like to think folks with a quirky, geeky sense of romance can relate to it (and I doubt those are in short supply on the internet!) , whether in a relationship or not. So again, just think of it as bittersweet “pop poetry,” and enjoy reading about a feeling that’s…

Hard to Describe

“You Won’t Read This” (Poem)

Wait... is that a baseball diamond back there?

Wait… is that a baseball diamond back there?

Well, it’s been a time since I shared some poetry on here — what with law school and all — but that doesn’t mean I haven’t been writing it. It took gradual progress and drafting, but I started and finished this one after only a month or so into the winter semester! It sat on my hard drive for a while, passed around among friends, but I decided I should share it on here.

It’s about college, and part-time jobs, and literary journals. It’s about paranoia, and privilege, and not being totally sure who or what you want to spend life doing. It’s about girls — a million, or three, or maybe just one. It’s about videogames, the internet, and wishing you could talk with music and intense colors instead of text messaging and social cues.

Ironically, the poem “functions” best the fewer people read it — and yet, of course, I love to share my work and get feedback. So I hope you don’t take the title to heart too strongly when I say…

You Won’t Read This

– – –

This particular piece felt like a leap for me at first, but in retrospect it was a pretty logical progression. During and after writing a “literary self-portrait” in English last year, “An Easier Way to Get Out of Our Little Heads,” I realized how natural, cathartic, and yet… well, artistic it felt to write in a prose-poetry style–flitting between ideas and images, figures of speech and cultural references, yet wrapping it all back around around a core of feelings and thoughts that read as personal and yet relatable.

Looking back, I started letting poetry take over keeping a journal around the end of high school — a few stray verses or a whole poem every few months (admittedly, of varying objective quality) as a way of condensing my hopes, frustrations, and a handful of powerful memories into a structured yet sincere whole. So with this one, I decided to take everything I’d learned — and experienced — in the past few year, and try it again. It may be too early to self-declare a niche for my poetry, but I feel like I really found it with this one (is “love and philosophy for Millenials” too long a moniker?).

I’m Not Dead! (+A RAP VIDEO THAT’S RIGHT)

Couldn't think of a picture, so here's my "quotepic" of "The Beat Goes On" by Beady Eye!

Couldn’t think of a picture, so here’s my “quotepic” of “The Beat Goes On” by Beady Eye!

Good grief, how long’s it been? One, two, three, four, five… six months? I couldn’t blame you if you jumped ship on this blog after that long–in this fast-paced age, I probably would’ve moved on to greener pastures of soft-focus nature photography and motivational fitness posts myself. Shoot, Tumblr really did get the better of me!

Well, that and law school — because yes, I am still clinging on for dear professional life at Cornell Law! Since last September, I’ve celebrated my first birthday without a proper family party, cleared the first semester with a 4.9 GPA, loved, lost, hovered somewhere uncomfortably in-between, and got on the fast track to study international law at the Sorbonne in Paris this summer. Regrettably, my writing’s slowed to a crawl since then, but (often, I fear, to my detriment) I never stop thinking and consequently taking notes on ideas for plots, quotes, general philosophical musings, and the occasional rap lyric. Also, Tumblr’s fun, but I owe it to myself to have a dedicated site for my writing work, how few and far apart it may appear — if only so y’all who bought my book don’t feel shortchanged for abiding by my advice to “stay updated” at Notes & Sketches!

– – –

So on that note, I’d like to present a candid–albeit regrettably slightly truncated–video of me performing my slam/rap poem “Dour Number One” (link to the old PDF post) at Cornell Law’s 2014 “Cabaret,” a miniature festival of art, auctions, and alcohol put on annually by the school’s Public Interest Law Union. I’d performed it before, but never with a crowd this big — even knowing it by heart with some new tweaks, I got pretty shaky up there, so I apologize for losing the mic a few times!

Dour Number One – LIVE

“Altography” [My Winter 2013 Honors Final!]

Oddly, I had a hard time picking a picture… this is the book that formed the basis of my “critique” for each image.

And now, for something completely different… something more complex and cerebral. Not to scare anybody away in the first few lines, but this is about my final for Honors English this last Winter quarter at the University of Washington! Under the guidance of the excellently-engaging Professor Caroline Simpson, we devoted our weeks as a close-knit “cohort” to the study of texts, essays, and film that explored and questioned the relationship between photography and… something that, off the top of my head, I think is best described as social change.

Did the pictures taken to expose the plight of Dust Bowl-era migrant workers really help their subjects, or just make people who saw them feel more fortunate? How much of the Abu Ghraib scandal would’ve even occured if no-one had recorded it? These questions and more drove the bulk of our group discussions, and while I was admittedly lost most of the time, I gleaned enough knowledge to eventually produce and submit this “creative thesis” (an option that mercifully arose halfway through the quarter)… for an overall course grade of 3.8!

The basic focus: Do the events, objects, and/or people immortalized in famous photographs retain their singular significance when an alternate angle or time of photography is imposed on the “Subject”? Or if an element of distortion–deliberate or not–is revealed in the “original” image? The piece proper, “Altography,” is right below, but if you want to read the more involved, academic explanation I prefaced my initial submission with, scroll down just a little further; you don’t have to read it, but it does explain the historical/critical background and terms utilized!

Altography

—————————–

Can an altered perspective operate on the same Subject and still arrive at a new, profound conclusion? While this was once the question which underlined the project contained herein, it quickly became a dilemma hanging over its very formation when my goal reared up as both vague and self-limiting. A hope to better unite the scattered poems came in the form of Camera Lucida, and as my research evolved, I went from merely nodding at Barthes’ words above to deliberately challenging the limitations they declared. Barthes speaks at length on the tension between a great photograph’s studium (the obvious points of interest) and its punctum (an indefinable depth found in subtler aspects), but in turn laments the unary nature of news photographs, with “no duality, no indirection, no disturbance” (41). Applied to those journalistic snapshots which dominate the public perception of a complex Subject, this I could not deny—but could something akin to the punctum exist just “outside” the frame, understood in relation to another photograph?

It wasn’t until I encountered the “surprises” (to his Spectator; “performances” to the Photographer) characterizing photographic “shock” that I understood how to define that exterior quality. These five elements— the “rare,” the numen (rapidity immobilized), prowess, contortion, and the trouvaille (lucky find)—were not established as those of the punctum, but Barthes’ later revelation that “there exists another punctum… Time, the lacerating emphasis of the noeme (“that-has-been”), its pure representation” (96) reveals his knowledge of the possibility. The Subjects inhabiting these photographs are all unique, as are the ways in which they proffer “alternative” sides beyond different physical angles—a sub-punctum of sorts, in the seconds, meters, and manipulations separating different referents from the same Subject. There they wait, ready to expand an inherent disorientation into a space to break down and re-form assumptions surrounding Photography, particularly that of an allegedly “unary” nature. Does the frame end where the device itself captured it, or where the creator chose to crop it? Is something “added” to a photo if the contents are only switched around? Reflecting through images alone, when can an Event be said to have officially “happened”?

In attempting to answer these questions, it is my hope that the endeavor is not taken as a mere “shock to the system,” a childish surprise attack from around-the-corner. It is also my hope that the form serves the focus, for I employ melodic prose poetry with the intent to strike a balance between artistic, aesthetic introspection and academia, freeing the former from the (chrono)logical constraints of the latter while still invoking critical discourse. These poems are not puffed-up captions, but neither are the photographs which accompany them mere illustrations to an experimental essay. If ambiguity seems to pervade the pieces, it is only by the virtue of disassembling their focus: the Realm of the Photograph, where a single detail can tip the balance of visions or memory from godlike certainty or meaningless confusion. That textual quotations selected (rendered in italics) run by the same binary is no accident; for Spectator, Photographer, and Subject alike, Barthes is once again apt when he assess that a (famous) Photograph “completely de-realizes the human world of conflicts and desires, under cover of illustrating it” (118). But no matter the era, professional or amateur, black and white or color, we needn’t panic at that thought. Sometimes, if our sight is filled, we need only shift our heads.

“The Problem”

Eye Candy

My contribution to the “short, picture-focused dramatic sentiment” subgenre of poetry.

 

Image credit: By Michelle Tribe (originally posted to Flickr as candy hearts) [CC-BY-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)%5D, via Wikimedia Commons

“Dour Number One”

...so don't swat it in the process of looking for more!

…so don’t swat it in the process of looking for more!

Poem number six, coming right up! This one’s prompt was for a “sonic poem” that values rhythm and rhyme over coherence, and the possibility of a rap-like piece was suggested if not recommended. As such, the exercise became something of a welcome excuse for me to practice my hip-hop chops, though a performance of this “on tha mike” is pending, because I’ll admit the beat isn’t perfect all the way through. Still, I kind of had fun with it, and I hope the sentiment I injected still makes sense in-between all the alliteration and assonance!

Dour Number One

“Shuffle Mode” (+OFFICIAL LOVE&DARKNESS PLAYLIST!)

Emo as I wanna be today.

Emo as I wanna be today.

Well, happy Valentine’s Day, all! Although I’ve got all kinds of rough drafts for Love&Darkness: Vol. II stewing on my computer right now, I’m afraid writing a third brand-new story last week to release it in time for the holiday was just not in the cards. However, thanks to my latest ENGL 483 prompt–and I say “mine” because I was the one who came up with it for the whole class–there is a new poem! Inspired by my love/hate relationship with T.S. Eliot (“the Kanye West of poets,” as I’m on record calling him), I decreed that we focus on a “referential poem,” one composed of literary/(pop) cultural references, or at least tasteful name-dropping. I decided to write one based on an old hobby of mine: chickening out talking to women and venting my frustration by listening to pop punk.

Shuffle Mode

(How many band names can you pick out?)

——-

And speaking of emotional music… almost as long in making as the book itself, I present to you the Official Love&Darkness Playlist! It’s composed of songs that inspired me while writing the collection, songs that remind me of particular stories, and songs that I feel just embody the ideas of “love” and “darkness” as I set out to write about them. Since I don’t know how to embed a streaming playlist from Rdio or something (whatever happened to that option on iTunes, anyway?), I’ve just put YouTube links to the most convenient rip of each one (stupid ads aside). Listen on your own time, or while reading for added effect!

The Official Love&Darkness Playlist (Vol. I)

1) “Distraction” – Angels & Airwaves

2) “Living Dead Girl” – Rob Zombie (“All of My Ex-Girlfriends Are Monsters”)

3) “One Day Women Will All Become Monsters” – Chiodos (…Or this; take your pick)

4) “Gave Up” – Nine Inch Nails (“It’s No Use…”)

5) “A Daydream Away” – All Time Low (“But Crazier Things Have Happened”)

6) “Right Where it Belongs” – Nine Inch Nails (“Fear Itself,” “The Agents of Fear”)

7) “Ghost on the Dance Floor” – Blink-182

8) “Of Wolf and Man” – Metallica (“Were”)

9) “Veronica Sawyer Smokes” – AFI

10) “Harder Than You Know” – Escape the Fate (“How Does it Feel?”)

11) “The Curse of Curves” – Cute is What We Aim For (“Hi!”)

12) “Fix You” – Coldplay (“‘One Thousand Ways”)

13) “Hysteria” – Muse (“In Finiti”)

14) “Love Like Winter” – AFI

15) “About a Girl” – The Academy Is…

16) “Semiotic Love” – Blaqk Audio (“Keep Reading”)

17) “The World You Love” – Jimmy Eat World

18) “The Scientist” – Coldplay

19) “Chasing Cars” – Snow Patrol

20) “Fake Plastic Trees” – Radiohead

21) “Summertime” – My Chemical Romance

22) “Run” – Snow Patrol

23) “I Will Follow You Into the Dark” – Death Cab for Cutie

“Let Go” (It’s a Poem. About Legos.)

Image from tracizeller.com

So yes! After rustling some jimmies with my takes on gendered maturity and antidisestablishmentarianism, I decided to go back to basics with a poem about how… I really like Legos:

Let Go

———–

The prompt was for a “bare poem” this time, with no more than ten lines and under ten words per line, and no adverbs. I went for broke on sound, then, while still maintaining what I hope is an apparent rumination on why contructing these things is so psychologically pleasing.

On a related note, I’ve been getting back into the habit with these fancy Lego Architecture sets! I knocked out Frank Lloyd Wright’s “Fallingwater” a few weeks ago, and completed a small model of the hitherto unfamiliar-to-me Villa Savoye just this evening.

“The Cookbook’s Anarchist” (+Strange Street Men Are Interested in L&D)

Hot on the heels of the last fruit of my labor from English 483 with Linda Bierds (“Girls and Women,” which has already been called “great,” “wonderful,” “controversial,” and “misogynistic”) comes this little political nugget. The prompt (these are decided on by alternating groups of students, for the record): produce an “emblematic poem,” in which an observation on the physical nature of a subject segues into deeper rumination. Loosely based on an actual anarchist publication I saw hanging around at the UW, my only hope is that I don’t expose how little I honestly know about world government while attempting to do the same to others.

The Cookbook’s Anarchist

——-

Also, my brother Kyle tells me that, the other evening, a scruffy, possibly unstable man wandered into our apartment lobby and–after some consideration–enthusiastically picked up one of my fliers for Love&Darkness before exiting as questionably legally as came.

Could this be just the teen fiction anthology that Seattle’s underground homeless network needs?

LaD Flier