Hey, Business Cards!

Courtesy of Cascadia Print and Copy, with design by me and creative input by Michael Duquette. $15 for 100 (single-sided, glossy) ain’t bad! Click the awkwardly cut-off latter image for a full-size high-quality view.

Write Away, Write Here — Oct. 10

Alright, so as I’ve no doubt mentioned before, every Wednesday evening is “Write Away!” at the UW, where eager wordsmiths run through a trio or quartet of semi-random prompts for about fifteen minutes apiece, then share the results (no self-criticism beforehand!). I’ve shared the fruits of this group in the past (“Fyrewrit,” for one), but I thought to myself: why not start posting this stuff on a weekly basis? So straight from this last Wednesday, here we go–(mostly) unedited, (generally) uncensored, and (largely) unfinished:

18th Ave NE” [Prompt #1: Write something based on a classified ad]

At first, the alleyway that bisected the brownstone buildings of 18th Ave NE seemed a woeful picture of the effects of gentrification clashing with overblown artistic sensibilities in Seattle. Specifically, it was a rectangular strip of reinforced windows opaque with spray paint and dumpsters in practically neon shades from the same, but at the narrow path’s center was something unlike anywhere else in the city: an apartment in Paris.

This is to say that between 5266 18th Ave NE (Dave’s Pizzeria) and 5270 18th Ave NE (Flannery’s Tavern), there existed a casual spatial anomaly wherein what appeared to be the greater studio of a lavish French condo suddenly grew into existence as one entered the alley’s epicenter. The well-polished floorboards merged with the crooked surrounding bricks like two Lego sets jammed together by a thoughtless child, and a solitary window that should’ve looked into a chrome-filled kitchen instead faced a metropolitan skyline filled in no small part by an outline of the Eiffel Tower, above a modern computer desk and chair. With enough time, the surroundings as a whole would fade and shift into a full loft apartment, with a simple exit (and further defiance of physics) achievable by exiting through the front door and into the pizzeria restroom.

And yet there was a caveat: the sight would only become apparent to those in active need of a new apartment, which was how the phenomenon came to the attention of Laura Chance, fresh off a lease in a higher-priced University District complex and more than a little curious as to the numerous local police reports of inebriated homeless people claiming to have found solace for the evening in a public art exhibit on 52nd…

18th Ave NE, Part II” [Prompt #2: A hypothetical response to said ad, though it was apparently supposed to be for another ad.]

The story behind Laura’s investigation of, introduction to, interest in, payment for, and eventual exhaustion with Seattle’s only Parisian apartment is one that need only be addressed in regards to its final phase: Ms. Chance simply got sick of the place because the window to the outside was a good twelve hours ahead of the time zone in Washington state, she was taking too many credits already to bother learning French to take advantage of the computer, and she was at times paralyzed by the possibility that a garbage truck driver living on his friend’s couch would plow through the lot while she was dusting the varnished redwood bookshelves.

Instead, let us turn our attention to Max Smith, the neurobiology major who encountered a listing which read: “$750-850. UTILITIES and internet included. Available Now.”, accompanied by a short list of contact info and the address. It was this early that Max felt confused, for priding himself on a block-by-block knowledge of the neighboorhood that rivaled that of Google Maps, he knew that there was no actual building at 5268 18th Ave NE, at least not anymore.

If anything, the call to Laura was a matter of correcting her misprint, but the girl’s assurance that she was not mistaken piqued Max’s interest, sleeping as he had been for long enough on the top bunk of a bed in a dorm room with all the square footage of a dwarf’s tornado shelter. That Friday, he went on over…

Anda Mir” [Prompt #3: Inspired by some poem about “The Tarantella”, which reference someone named “Miranda” throughout]

Does anybody really call their daughters Miranda anymore?

Maybe it’s just as well, since it

mostly makes me think of George Miranda,

then Carmen Miranda, and I

get confused and wonder why we named a law

after a woman with bananas in her hat.

That, or Miranda Cosgrove,

who last I heard was playing pop music

as only the Disney brand can manufacture.

 

And after that, I start thinking of anagrams:

I ran mad, raid man, an ad rim,

and so on, ad nauseum, ’cause it just goes round

and round in circles like a silly shaking head—

Mirandamirandamiran—damn, man, that’s enough

of that.

 

We need to bring back Crystal,

or Stephanie, if indeed they ever left.

A good name is hard to find,

at least when you always have one in mind.

 

I am Rand. Mar a din.

Dammit, I’m doing it again.

Hey, does anybody call their daughters Amanda anymore?

I hope so.

It’s an adamant decision, after all.

Newspaper” [Prompt #4: Group Poem – Newspaper. Everybody comes up with some lines on the topic and we read ’em one at a time in a circle. These are my lines.]

Got a dollar? I want to hear what this ink and shredded wood have to say.

If computers rule, one will still blow down the street when the world ends.

Politics are a joke—Garfield is serious business.

It’s National Poetry Day (+Exuberance is Beauty)

Well, shoot, I didn’t even know! That is, until Neil Gaiman tweeted about it… did you? Well, in any case, it’s a bit late for the “day” part, but seeing as starting into another poetry course at the UW has got the poems, poem concepts, and poetic snippets flowing like never before, this event couldn’t have sprung upon me at a better time. Thus, please find attached the most recent fruit of my labor, the title of which–per a class prompt–is lifted from the bizarrely beautiful “Proverbs of Hell” by William Blake.

Exuberance is Beauty

Magnet Poetry

 

I got mildly bored during the Bricolage meeting at UW (even as the Finanical Officer), and so I fooled around with this magnetic poetry board.

Amazon Update

Unfortunately, this news does not concern me going to South America or dating a 7′ tall woman, but I’ve got something just a few tics below in importance: my personalized Amazon.com author page is now online! I mean, it was before, but now there’s a much easier (and , given my track record with registering names, remarkably un-taken) URL to deal with: https://www.amazon.com/author/trevorwhite . So if you need something more “mainstream” to pass along to your friends as an introduction to my work, then there’s that. Also, I linked my Twitter account and this very blog to said page as well–apparently, all you have to do to get an RSS feed is input http://%5Bexample%5D.com/?feed=rss to your something-or-other, and bam! Of course, you’re most likely on top of both already without a feed, but it seemed sensible to get in on that mode of transmission as well.

In other news, this looks promising: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/09/13/print-on-demand-books-espresso_n_1882616.html?utm_hp_ref=tw

Nota Bene

Well, after over a year with no word either way, I thought for sure that I’d simply not made the grade, but it turns out it was merely a late decision: according to the email I just got, my story “[Citation Not Needed]” has been selected for publication in Phi Theta Kappa’s 2012 edition of Nota Bene! PTK is the international community college honor society (I was still going to Centralia College when I submitted), Nota Bene is their annual compilation of creative/critical writing, and… this actually looks pretty legit, as opposed to one of those glorified “Who’s Who” poetry books I got semi-conned into in high school; if their stats are to be believed, the 2011 edition featured only sixteen people out of 950 applicants. So while I didn’t get one of the attaboy scholarships accompanying four or five apparently more esteemed entries, this is still pretty neat!

The book should be out by Winter, and it looks like they’ll distribute it to community colleges around the globe. Don’t worry, though! Barring the highly unlikely event of a publication conflict, “[Citation Not Needed]” will also be featured in Love&Darkness Vol. I, set to be released around the same time.

Facebookery

So in other news, Distortions has a Facebook Page now! Go Like it, would you kindly?

https://www.facebook.com/DistortionsBook

Love&Darkness: Vol. I – “Setlist”

Here’s where the layout of pieces for Love&Darkness: Vol. I stands as of now:

1) Warning

2) All of My Ex-Girlfriends Are Monsters

3) [Citation Not Needed]

4) The Aftermath Villanelle

5) Were

6) Fear Itself

7) Ctrl+C

8) Totally Epic

9) Distribution Methods

10) My Quest

11) “One Thousand Ways”; or, “Reinvented”

12) The Agents of Fear

13) But Crazier Things Have Happened

14) Hi!

15) Fyrewrit

16) Keep Reading

17) How Does it Feel?

Love&Darkness… Volume One

Yes, you read correctly! While America was celebrating its Independence (yester)Day, I had a profound liberation of my own: the revelation to divide Love&Darkness into two volumes. The choice was made as much for myself as for… well, everyone else: not only has the brutal (but very rewarding) endeavor that is college been swamping my time for writing over the last year, but since my number one priority is to entertain you, the readers, I’m doing Distortions fans and any potential newcomers a disservice by hoarding a dozen pieces just because I haven’t finished five or six more. And this is the 21st century, right? The elephant-in-the-room that is the instability of Print aside, who doesn’t love getting small amounts of something more frequently instead of having your anticipation hinge on one release some time in the misty future? After all, dividing up publications has been common for centuries, even.

But I don’t want it to sound like I’m rationalizing anything, for these will still be no “small” books. Love&Darkness: Vol. I (subtitle pending) will contain around thirteen pieces, as will Love&Darkness: Vol. II. While the release for the latter is pending as early 2013, if all goes well on this side of the equation (what with editing and printing and such), you’ll be able to give Love&Darkness: Vol. I as a gift for Christmas for sure.

LaD Hits the Streets

First off, I’ve added an info tab for Love&Darkness that you can check out right next to “Buy Distortions” up top there. Part of the reason for this, though, is because of a new ad campaign I’m hoping to roll out for the book (which explains the comparatively detached tone and hopefully-not-too-pretentious promotional blurb): a poster which you can download below.

Each poster will have, in the blank space, a different image or story snippet (real or fictitious) related in some way to the nexus between love and darkness , to draw attention to itself, this site, and the book, but also hopefully the implications of these concepts in our real lives. The QR code “answers” for each direct to different pages, which link back to the LaD info page mentioned above. The bottom strips will, of course, be cut and readily removable for the non-smartphone-using set.

I’ll be putting these up around the U District in Seattle when I get a chance, but in the meantime (and thereafter) — if you don’t mind the ink and paper costs — help a guy out and stick some around your hometown, or wherever! If you haven’t already, read the pieces on the site so far, as well as the info page, and figure out what love and darkness mean to you. Then, put something in that box and stick it up for all to see. You may be surprised by how the one can be seen as the other…

Love&Darkness Poster Template

(This is meant to be 8.5 x 11, but I’ve been having some trouble getting that equalized across all forms of the image so far. If it’s too tiny, I’ll fix it soon)