Girls and Women (and Underground Cafés and Sales Figures)

This last Thursday, I had the pleasure of both implicitly hosting and taking part in an open mic night at the University of Washington! That is, the event was put on by the Bricolage Literary Arts Journal (of which I am Treasurer), though there was some carry-over in attendance from the first general meeting for Sigma Tau Delta English Honor Society (also Treasurer of that) an hour prior. The event was hosted in the subterranean Parnassus Café of the Art building, a dimly lit but warmly inviting place for poets and musicians of all stripes.

The turnout? Excellent! Granted, the room has a capacity cap of about seventy, but anybody in the Seattle area who’s interested can also check out further open mics sponsored by Manic Mouth Congress every other Thursday, 7-9pm, starting January 24.

The evening’s material was full of superbly-written, well-delivered pieces, running the gamut from a spoken-word feminist declaration to an acoustic song about a Yeti. When it was my shot at the spotlight, I cleared my throat, rose the microphone stand considerably, and read a pair of poems: Christmastime, from Love&Darkness: Vol. I, and the following poem, one based on couplets that I recently wrote for my current poetry class (English 483 with Linda Bierds, which is going excellently so far):

Girls and Women

——-

On a slightly related note, I would like to personally thank electronic musician, fellow blogger, and guy from Michigan Truttle for laying down his digital dollar for the first official online purchase of Love&Darkness: Vol. I! If you’re on your way to PayPal checkout for your own copy, don’t forget to stop by his Bandcamp page to pick up some sweet ambient tunes.

Write Away, Write Here: 1/9/2013 (+MILDLY REMARKABLE L&D UPDATES!)

Whoo, let’s hear it for 2013! Sorry about the delay in proper blog updates, but a combination of offline Christmas merriment and the resurgence of my shrewd nemesis Col-Lege The Educator has slowed my flow of post-worthy activities. However, while the continuing struggle for Love&Darkness: Vol. I‘s full release hinges on when Stuart Marlantes gets some free time and/or I bite the bullet and learn how to use an e-book formatting program, I’m pleased to follow up on a few previous Tweets by reporting that–aside from my apartment and this little hidden pocket in my messenger bag–the book is currently available at the following locations:

Book & Brush – Chehalis, WA
The Aerie Ballroom and Events Facility – Centralia, WA

…Okay, so that’s not much, but it’s a start! Also, availability of copies at the UW Bookstore in Seattle is still pending. If you’re around “The Ave,” Go in and ask for Love&Darkness: Vol. I by Trevor White to see if we can drum up some support!

Anyway, with a return to the University of Washington comes a return to “Write Away!”, and while I was feeling both rushed and rusted in spontenaeity that night, I still managed to produce a prose poem based on a prompt the group leader got off of Reddit: pick a verb, then write about being unable to perform said action “after the acccident.” Twenty minutes later, an only marginally rougher version of the following appeared on my notebook paper:

Limited Mobility [based on the verb “Accelerate”]

The accident was terrific, in the old-fashioned sense
of powder keg explosions and whip-crack lightning,
but slower and so much sadder.

One day, mid-day,
the car was pulling into the parking lot
of Arby’s, and in angling my boot
beneath the brake to rake out an old wrapper
from Subway, my foot got stuck.

My hair got all electrified,
and the steering wheel sweaty.
The yellow brick road bump backing the handicapped spot
was my best bet, before I lost control.

Unstick, foot,
unstick!
I thrashed gently, kicked lightly, fighting,
until the boot removed itself right
into the side of the gas pedal,
and this being my latest cheap-ass sedan,
the pedal cracked off like a twig
on a black-padded assembly line limb.

I halted to a stop—that handicapped spot—
and dropped out of the car.
Let them check it.
I’ll tell ’em I got limited mobility,
and can’t move since the accident.

From the Sub-Subfolders: And Yet So Far

Alright, folks! This time we have another poem from that ubiquitous Centralia College CW course (PDF’d and revised for poetic grammar, of course), for which the prompt was to write about some manner of mythology or legend. Perhaps feeling a bit of empathy with the guy at the time, I chose Tantalus.

And Yet So Far

Write Away, Write Here — Oct. 17

A Device” [Prompt #1: Describe Something Without Saying What it Is]

The device is a complicated one, but its movement is a simple and fluid work of art to the observer’s eye. Fine belts press around blunted sawblades of greased metal before releasing into a parallel free run across the air, again and again. They power dual circuits of vulcanized rubber, from which slim bars radiate back to their cores like aluminum starfishes. Above the frontmost, a bracing pair of softened apertures extend, equipped with their own additional feedback control via a set of curved extensions which arrest the sawblades and starfishes. In the creation’s middle: a hollow support pipe, its complement below ensuring in tandem that the structure will not collapse.

 

(It’s a bicycle)

 

Squirrel Poker” [Prompt #2: Something About My Button of Squirrels Playing Poker From Tau Sigma Honor Society. It was a slow night like that. Also, no editing allowed, but I’ve fixed an incoherent tangent or two here and there]

When the Genetic Manipulation Project for Lesser Mammals (GMPLM) was begun, nobody could’ve foreseen the consequences of its widespread application, outside of the scientific community. Nobody, that is, except for the marketing minds of the nation’s biggest sports networks, which took a previously winning combination—spectator sports + inept combatants—and ran with it in a brand new direction: “Animalympics”. Specifically, squirrel poker.

When the program began, a number of remarkable ideas jumped out at the well-paid and respectably-dressed research team at ESPN: goat horseshoes, for one, or perhaps buffalo ice skiiing had potential. But squirrel poker—squirrels playing cards, in general—was shown to have the most potential in test screenings. For one, the intelligence of the rodents was such that, while capable of understanding basic instructions, the rules of the game, and rudimentary trash talk, their poker faces were lacking—or rather, their poker tails, for the large and bushy tail of the squirrel (who, unlike the chipmunk, preferred the sport naturally to backgammon and cribbage) would swiftly betray their hand when a well-held suit wouldn’t. Additionally, the hands of the squirrel were readily opposable for such a task, and besides, they didn’t even have to engineer a new deck to go along with it; those miniature super-travel-size cards worked just fine.

So within a month, televised Squirrel Poker (the title didn’t need anything else) was a nationwide phenomenon. Eventually, however, with the threat of slumping ratings, measures were taken to ensure vitality and relevance. They started giving one squirrel—a particularly laudable performer—miniature sunglasses and a hoodie; the existence of a possible cheating system was leaked to the news for the sheer sake of controversial publicity; a squirrel with abnormally large feet was marketed as a mascot for Coors Light, whose banners featured prominently on the wide shots of the stump of a prematurely-chopped oak where the squirrels played their rounds for the world to see (Try new acorn-flavored Coors! Squirrel away responsibly). Most importantly, though, they began looking for the program’s inevitable successor, for while network television was caught in its usual cycle of sweeps and seasons, the scientific advancements behind this remarkable turn of events was slowly evolving.

They began looking, and they found it in the Next Big Thing: sloth ping-pong. The possibility of a crossover to ensure favor—sloth vs. squirrel poker—was not left unconsidered, but the logistics on getting the sloths in question (who, since their intellectual broadening, had become notorious for just smoking pot and playing with K’nex sets) into the “Octagon” with the three or four squirrels was deemed an unnecessary expenditure. When all was said and done, the two programs were aired simultaneously, to see which the public preferred.

As it turned out, novelty and morbid curiosity notwithstanding, poker squirrelsstill held strong over their slower counterparts. Meanwhile, the fruits of competing networks—CNN’s ParrotReport and VH1’s 90’s Lemur—were no less of a failure.

“Babies, Lemons, and Paper” [Prompt #3: Group Poem – Babies, Lemon, and Paper. Some video people were laughing about beforehand, I don’t know. Special thanks to Cali Kopczick for compiling the full text this time! Every fourth line is mine.]

Gianna stared down at the blank sheet of paper.

Sunny sweet sour juice

The paper croaked as it stretched itself in two

Single bottomedly keeping the diaper industry, uh, afloat

She was horrible at arts so she knew she was already doomed—but she attempted drawing the baby anyways.

They only tell you it’s a bundle of joy or else it’d be orphaned.

Laced with citric icy invisibility

When life gives you some, throw ‘em back and say “no, you have them!”

It had turned out quite well! Until her mother said, “what a beautiful lemon.”

Write on me fool! Write on me!

Peek. It stared. Boo. It stared. Paper, citrus, stare: they knew.

I beat rock, but we teamed up together to stop scissors.

Touch and Go

Sometimes I write things in the margins of my class notes. Usually, it’s just random bits of potential story dialogue or abstract geometric doodles, but every once in a while a short poem pops out.

Touch and Go

Write Away, Write Here — Oct. 10

Alright, so as I’ve no doubt mentioned before, every Wednesday evening is “Write Away!” at the UW, where eager wordsmiths run through a trio or quartet of semi-random prompts for about fifteen minutes apiece, then share the results (no self-criticism beforehand!). I’ve shared the fruits of this group in the past (“Fyrewrit,” for one), but I thought to myself: why not start posting this stuff on a weekly basis? So straight from this last Wednesday, here we go–(mostly) unedited, (generally) uncensored, and (largely) unfinished:

18th Ave NE” [Prompt #1: Write something based on a classified ad]

At first, the alleyway that bisected the brownstone buildings of 18th Ave NE seemed a woeful picture of the effects of gentrification clashing with overblown artistic sensibilities in Seattle. Specifically, it was a rectangular strip of reinforced windows opaque with spray paint and dumpsters in practically neon shades from the same, but at the narrow path’s center was something unlike anywhere else in the city: an apartment in Paris.

This is to say that between 5266 18th Ave NE (Dave’s Pizzeria) and 5270 18th Ave NE (Flannery’s Tavern), there existed a casual spatial anomaly wherein what appeared to be the greater studio of a lavish French condo suddenly grew into existence as one entered the alley’s epicenter. The well-polished floorboards merged with the crooked surrounding bricks like two Lego sets jammed together by a thoughtless child, and a solitary window that should’ve looked into a chrome-filled kitchen instead faced a metropolitan skyline filled in no small part by an outline of the Eiffel Tower, above a modern computer desk and chair. With enough time, the surroundings as a whole would fade and shift into a full loft apartment, with a simple exit (and further defiance of physics) achievable by exiting through the front door and into the pizzeria restroom.

And yet there was a caveat: the sight would only become apparent to those in active need of a new apartment, which was how the phenomenon came to the attention of Laura Chance, fresh off a lease in a higher-priced University District complex and more than a little curious as to the numerous local police reports of inebriated homeless people claiming to have found solace for the evening in a public art exhibit on 52nd…

18th Ave NE, Part II” [Prompt #2: A hypothetical response to said ad, though it was apparently supposed to be for another ad.]

The story behind Laura’s investigation of, introduction to, interest in, payment for, and eventual exhaustion with Seattle’s only Parisian apartment is one that need only be addressed in regards to its final phase: Ms. Chance simply got sick of the place because the window to the outside was a good twelve hours ahead of the time zone in Washington state, she was taking too many credits already to bother learning French to take advantage of the computer, and she was at times paralyzed by the possibility that a garbage truck driver living on his friend’s couch would plow through the lot while she was dusting the varnished redwood bookshelves.

Instead, let us turn our attention to Max Smith, the neurobiology major who encountered a listing which read: “$750-850. UTILITIES and internet included. Available Now.”, accompanied by a short list of contact info and the address. It was this early that Max felt confused, for priding himself on a block-by-block knowledge of the neighboorhood that rivaled that of Google Maps, he knew that there was no actual building at 5268 18th Ave NE, at least not anymore.

If anything, the call to Laura was a matter of correcting her misprint, but the girl’s assurance that she was not mistaken piqued Max’s interest, sleeping as he had been for long enough on the top bunk of a bed in a dorm room with all the square footage of a dwarf’s tornado shelter. That Friday, he went on over…

Anda Mir” [Prompt #3: Inspired by some poem about “The Tarantella”, which reference someone named “Miranda” throughout]

Does anybody really call their daughters Miranda anymore?

Maybe it’s just as well, since it

mostly makes me think of George Miranda,

then Carmen Miranda, and I

get confused and wonder why we named a law

after a woman with bananas in her hat.

That, or Miranda Cosgrove,

who last I heard was playing pop music

as only the Disney brand can manufacture.

 

And after that, I start thinking of anagrams:

I ran mad, raid man, an ad rim,

and so on, ad nauseum, ’cause it just goes round

and round in circles like a silly shaking head—

Mirandamirandamiran—damn, man, that’s enough

of that.

 

We need to bring back Crystal,

or Stephanie, if indeed they ever left.

A good name is hard to find,

at least when you always have one in mind.

 

I am Rand. Mar a din.

Dammit, I’m doing it again.

Hey, does anybody call their daughters Amanda anymore?

I hope so.

It’s an adamant decision, after all.

Newspaper” [Prompt #4: Group Poem – Newspaper. Everybody comes up with some lines on the topic and we read ’em one at a time in a circle. These are my lines.]

Got a dollar? I want to hear what this ink and shredded wood have to say.

If computers rule, one will still blow down the street when the world ends.

Politics are a joke—Garfield is serious business.

It’s National Poetry Day (+Exuberance is Beauty)

Well, shoot, I didn’t even know! That is, until Neil Gaiman tweeted about it… did you? Well, in any case, it’s a bit late for the “day” part, but seeing as starting into another poetry course at the UW has got the poems, poem concepts, and poetic snippets flowing like never before, this event couldn’t have sprung upon me at a better time. Thus, please find attached the most recent fruit of my labor, the title of which–per a class prompt–is lifted from the bizarrely beautiful “Proverbs of Hell” by William Blake.

Exuberance is Beauty

Magnet Poetry

 

I got mildly bored during the Bricolage meeting at UW (even as the Finanical Officer), and so I fooled around with this magnetic poetry board.

1) This 2) That 3) The Other

It’s been… what, a month and a half? Yeah, that sounds about right. Anyway, some significant events are upcoming!

1) The next issue of UW’s “AU” journal — Volume VI, “Oneiros” (Dreams) — will be having its launch party at the UW Bookstore on May 24th at 6pm! I will… actually not be attending this time, unfortunately, because the induction ceremony for the Tau Sigma honor society got bumped forward an hour. Still, the compilation will be available for purchase from the usual locations thereafter (the English advising office in Padelford, Bulldog News on the Ave, and — in all likelihood — my grandmother), containing my poem “But Crazier Things Have Happened”, among other fine pieces.

2) Immediately after the above event (7pm), I’ll be at the Jacob Lawrence Art Gallery on campus for the debut party of another regular journal, “Bricolage”, for which my poem “Fyrewrit” was graciously accepted. It won’t have the fancy fonts that I pride my PDFs on, but I’ll be reading it aloud and… in the general vicinity of copies of the journal, I suppose.

3) On a tentative afternoon in early June, myself and a group of other burgeoning authors will descend on Chehalis, Washington for a book signing at Book & Brush. I will, of course, have my crate of Distortions in tow, as well as answers to whatever questions you may have about Love&Darkness, and anything else that preparing for gradute school is preventing me from writing. The particulars are underway, but there should be a formal update at chronline.com or its papery predecessor within a week or two. So check it out!

AU Volume V is Under Construction!

Well, it’s been nearly two months to the day since the last post ’round these parts, but I’m a firm believer in quality over quantity. Fortunately, a significant quantity of quality is just around the corner: The University of Washington’s incomparable, inscrutable, and all-around indie sci-fi/fantasy literary journal AU is revving up for its newest quarterly issue, with the theme of… wait for it… Invention! The piece I submitted (and fortunately got accepted–thanks again, guys!) is called “‘One Thousand Ways’, or ‘Reinvented'”; it’s an epic sonnet about love, death, and steampunk, and all the preview readings have so far been fairly positive.

But the release is the real deal: Whereas the previous launch party (which you can most likely read about by scrolling about four inches down the screen) took place in a campus classroom, this time–6:30pm, March 1–the University Book on The Ave will play host to the whole AU crew as they distribute hot (or at least lukewarm)-off-the-press copies of Volume V. Myself and other honored authors will be reading samples of our submissions, and copies will be on sale for three bucks a pop.

So as much as I may be talking to a single-digit crowd here, I implore anybody who’s in the area to come take a look! Discounts may or may not be offered for anybody who shows up in a hot air balloon.