Well, not really, but that’s the title of my newest short story. Download it below!
All of My Ex-Girlfriends are Monsters
Note: To read this story, you must have Adobe Reader installed. If you don’t… here, have a free download!
The Shop is Open!
In case you didn’t already notice, the shop is open! There’s also a Donate button, if you just want to support the cause.
It’s No Use…
Go Knock on the door of a locked house
And denial is all you will find
There’s a chain on the latch, and it’s rusty
Though the age, you yet cannot divine
Now Perhaps there’s a window that’s opened
And through which you may clamber within
But the blinds are all drawn and the shades shut
Though you swear you can hear a faint din
And Maybe there’s a key that is hidden
In a rock made of plaster and paint
But the garden is overgrown greatly
With flowers of sinners and saints
Save The times that you’ve spent in your searching—
Leave them promptly, as well as the stair
For you’ll pry and you’ll beat and you’ll plead, “please”
All in vain, when there’s not a soul cares
Love The tiles, the roof, and the mortar
But admire them all far, alone
Oh, there’s nothing more cruel to a heart than
To just knock at a dead-lockéd home.
Warning
Her hair cascades in waves that shine like fine obsidian
Her eyes, the green and cooling sheen of winter wearing thin
Her figure, well-defined; her mind, it seems does little much
I can control, for on her soul, a sign reads, “Look, Don’t Touch”
Her skin so pale, as if it hails from polished alabaster
Her voice, resolved, it leaves absolved the pains I cannot master
Her spirit, dark, perhaps a lark, or maybe just a crutch
For inner woes—Why? No-one knows. The sign reads, “Look, Don’t Touch”
Her artistry, soon history, still leaves my passions racing
In photographs, she rarely laughs, yet by them, I go pacing
The warning’s there, it’s hardly fair, and I have thought, as such
That rules be damned, I’ll take her hand, and Look inside her Touch.
First Info on My First Novel
I’m here to officially announce my first “real” book: There’s Something Wrong with the Neighbor’s Cat.
It’s an adventure-mystery-comedy that mixes modern and ancient Japanese lore with American life. There’ll be monsters and awkward romance, and it takes place in Washington state. So, it’s like Twilight, but awesome.
Distortions Excerpts
As promised, here are some samples from each Distortion:
The Mall
“Hey, I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again,” Nick insisted, “A monster lives in the downtown mall. Case closed.”
Down for the Count
I don’t know what I did to make them mad—the numbers, I mean.
Dimension for Rent
He walked up toward the large, dirty panes, where a sign was propped up from the inside in front of the curtains. It looked like thick, white cardboard, and on it was scrawled:
DIMENSION FOR RENT
In red permanent marker and, beneath it,
INQUIRE WITHIN
Power of the Day
You see, I have just about every superpower there is. But, for one reason or another, I just can’t have them all at once.
How to Stop Time
He felt the irritation that had compounded throughout the day hit all at once. Balling his hands into fists at his sides, Shane stomped his foot, looked up at the sky, and screamed, “Why can’t I just stop time!?”
“Why not, indeed?” said a voice behind him, and Shane spun around so fast he almost twisted his ankle.
People of the Paper
Daniel extended his hand to rub away the drawing and there was the quick scratch of pencil-writing as the stick figure threw up its arms.
The Lunchtable of the Apocalypse
I shrank back as Warra banged a fist on the table. “Bomb ‘em all, I say!” she hollered explosively, “either you’re with us or you’re a stain on the ground!” Then, to drive the point home, she swiftly pulled a large knife from somewhere in her pockets and stabbed it into the table, hard enough for it to splinter the wood and stay upright. Breathing heavily, she resumed eating.
Abandoned
He looks to the massive windows that complement the double doors, hoping like a child on Christmas morning for a present, a reward for his hardiness and determination. Darkness shrouds the parking lot and a thick fog obscures all beyond it, but all he must do is look to the empty sky to know his purgatory must continue.
A Poem = Published
My submitted poem, “The Dreamers Said”, won a spot in the Creative Communication compendium “A Celebration of Poets”!
Distortions is here!
My first book, Distortions (a collection of short stories), is now available for purchase! It’s $8 in person and $11 via mail, at least within the contiguous United States.
The cover art is by Michael Duquette, a most excellent graphic artist.
Excerpts shall be up shortly.
EDIT: First shipment’s almost out! Next will be here in about two weeks.
Check it out!
So the amazing Trevor White finally has his own legit blog! Put it on your favorites, ’cause this is the go-to place for up-to-date info on all my latest creations.
Notes&Sketches 